I read a post on Demetria Luca’s blog, A Belle in Brooklyn , yesterday where one of her friends got turned down from a party by the doorman because she looked “regular black.”

Regular black? Yes, regular black. This means that she was “regular” because she had no weave, no flashy clothes, none of that extra I guess. You know, regular. So, for that, she had to hightail it home.

The bouncer was a black man, of course (meaning he probably has a regular black mama). He was the “Chosen One” to select which non-regulars, or exotic beauties, to gain entry into the club.

What else does exotic mean (besides the weave and such)? It means the girl might be light-skinned, have light eyes, possibly Amber Rose or Kim Kardashian looking. It’s not enough that it takes so much for a woman to get ready for a night out on the town. Whether we have a fresh weave or a fresh roller wrap, it takes time. We want to find the perfect outfit just for that evening for us to feel good in. We buy new makeup, maybe get our brows and nails done. A lot of time and effort goes into being a woman.

So when a male, specifically a black male, claims he needs something more exotic or flashy is he just shunning the black woman alltogether?

I’m not entirely sure, but all we see in magazines and TV are the exotic chicks, it’s no wonder why black men want them. It seems like it’s the only thing that is presented. It’s nothing really new. It’s crazy to see the men who want the girl who looks different because chances are, they themselves are regular. How bout this, if you want a girl who is exotic, you better look like an extra from Takers.

One of my best friends and I talk about this pretty frequently. If black men are willing to push us aside for the girl who doesn’t look American, or maybe half American), why do we continue to be so loyal to them?

Why do we allow others to tell us what is beautful or worthy anyway? If you know you’re beautiful and a person says that you’re not, you’re still going to be beautiful. And if that one person thinks you’re not good enough for them, trust, there’s someone out there who does.