Breakups can be beyond tough — heartbreaking and heartwrenching, even. We can’t dwell on the past because that will opnly make us hurt more. Here’s some helpful tips to make it a speedy recovery.

1. Delete him from your life. It may sound harsh, but it needs to be done. Erase his contact info, including his phone number, e-mail address, Facebook, stop following him on Twitter — all of that. Block him if you have to. As women, we’re so easy to forgive and be understanding, but you broke up for a reason. You can’t get rid of your past if he’s still in your present. It will be really hard, but practice some restraint and willpower. It will get easier as time goes on.

2. Get your life back. Do the things you used to do before you got together. Everyone loses a bit of themselves when they’re in the wrong relationship. We sacrifice the things that we used to hoping to make new sacrifices together. Since that didn’t work, try going out the club with your girls or have an exciting night out.

3. Take time to know who you truly are. Go on vacay by yourself. It doesn’t have to be anywhere far if you don’t want to, and it can be just for a weekend. If that might be too much for you, try making a day for yourself. Go to the spa — treat yourself. Try meditating. Cut yourself off from the rest of the world for a bit (i.e. no cell phones!). This way you have time to reflect on what you want in a relationship and who you will and will not deal with for the next relationship.